drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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