I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
