see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She told me I should be a condom model.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
