but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize