to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
