so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
