piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
