bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize