i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
