My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize