I wish you could order shots online.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
