North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize