K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
