How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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