Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
