Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
