We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
