i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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