Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
