Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
