Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
