I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
