yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
