last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
