I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
