Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
