Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
