She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
