we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Pants are for mortals
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize