meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
