i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
