So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
