I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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