She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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