When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize