How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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