Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
