She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
