Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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