How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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