So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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