you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
