Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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