i would punch a child for taco bell
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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