I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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