i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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