called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
