Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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