This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
