He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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