Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
