I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
