Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
