Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
