The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
