i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
