I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
